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Deviant for 3 Years
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Hope you enjoy my fanfics. :)
PS: I DON'T own any characters or shows and don't make any profit off of them.

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You will find my favorite yaoi's here~
All the work here I feel is amazing and just wonderful (not that other's aren't these are just some I really like)
This goes from K-M and everything in between. Some of the yaoi will be ZaDr, Junjou, Shizaya, and SoulXKid. There is a whole lot more. So roam around my page and enjoy.


Chapter 18
I found out that Mike was the birthday boy. Levi had brought me inside once the temperature dropped to where I was shivering and set me down on the couch. Everyone was staring at us wondering what I was wondering. What the hell were we? Erwin was sitting in a chair with Armin curled up in his lap. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Erwin was going to hurt Armin. I felt like I should feel bad, but I really couldn’t. I really just wanted to call Armin a traitor. From the corner of my eye I saw Levi snickering at my reaction. “What?”
“Nothing. So, you’re at this party, but you probably don’t really know anyone here.” Levi smiled as he put an arm on the back of the couch.  I noticed his attire. His hair was slightly ruffled and his eye makeup was smeared. He was wearing skin tight jeans that had holes in them and a dark shirt. He looked like a punk off the streets almost. “Over there is the birthday boy, Mike. Hanji is around here somewhere, hence why I look like this, over there is Moblit. He’s probably looking for Hanji. That’s Erd, Oluo, and Gunther. We went to college together.” Everyone, minus Hanji, was sitting around. The rest of the people here probably wasn’t important because Levi didn’t point them out.
“You don’t look like you wanted to come here.” I chuckled though I could guess why he didn’t.
“Of course I didn’t. I didn’t know if you were going to be here. I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you.” Levi shrugged as he looked to the side and got his drink refilled. “I’m surprised Erwin let you in.”
“Armin just kind of walked in…” I explained scooting closer to him when more people came and sat on the couch. They knocked into me which made me fall into his arms.
“You okay?”
He was really too caring. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t drink too much, didn’t you drive here?”
“Yeah. I’m fine though.” He shrugged but I noticed how he set down his drink and turned to me. “How are you? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. It was only a couple scratches. I just stayed in there a little longer because I passed out.”
He nodded and looked to the side tapping his foot a little. The atmosphere around us was getting more and more awkward. I didn’t know how to break it. It just seemed too odd. We were so comfortable outside. I think it was Armin’s hatred towards me right now and Erwin’s broken stare that was creating this awkwardness around us. We weren’t in private and everything that needed to be said right now could only be said to each other in the comfort of privacy. He typed something out on his phone and was about to show me it until he realized I wouldn’t be able to read it so he deleted the message. I had seen Armin do this with Mikasa so many times. They’d write out messages to each other when they were talking about me and let the other see their phone to read it just so they wouldn’t have to say it out loud. “I’m leaving at ten.”
“The club thing?”
I looked down and nodded. “How long do you stay there?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because I want to know. I don’t know. Maybe so I could call you.”
“I don’t talk on the phone.”
“Why not?”
“It’s too professional and I express myself better through writing.”
“…Oh…” A silence went between us again as I looked to the side again. I really didn’t know how we went from being so close to this. Just seven months ago I had met him and was going to share my first kiss with him and now we couldn’t even hold a conversation. “Hey, Levi.”
“Hmmm?” He was eyeing Erwin over me. I looked over and saw he was pulling Armin up for a kiss by a leash. I glared over at them and turned away not wanting to get yelled at again for not supporting them. “Fucking traitor…”
“…Hey, why don’t we go upstairs so you don’t have to see this?” He sounded just as eager to get away as me. I nodded and got up to follow him upstairs. He held my hand as he found an empty room and shut and locked the door.
“Why did you lock it?”
“Do you want to be interrupted?”
“What exactly would they be interrupting?!” I got out as I snatched my hand back from him and glared up at him. He was driving me crazy. What was with his sudden mood changes?
“A talk.”
Oh. I relaxed and walked over to the bed and sat down. I looked up at him and noticed his angular features in his face just like I did the first time I saw him. “About what?” I could already guess what this talk was going to be about, but I wanted to stall. I had my cute mushroom downstairs that needed protecting from a perverted old man. Why hadn’t I stayed down there when I had the chance to go off on Erwin? Why was I distracting myself with Levi?
“Us. Them.”
Shit. I really didn’t want to talk about this. “There is no us.” His flinch tore my heart apart.
“Don’t say there isn’t. There is. And there’s them.”
“There is no us when you are wanting to be with that fucking bastard downstairs.”
“I don’t want to be with him.”
“Why should I believe you?!”
“Because,” Levi dropped to his knees and held my hands. I stared into his eyes and saw all the emotion behind the walls that guarded him. Sadness. Regret. Love. Desire. Affection. It was all there in black and white and suddenly it was just us. There was a possibly of us being together. “I love you, Eren Yeager.” My heart swelled up and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I watched him lean down and kiss my palms softly. “Give us a chance.”
I couldn’t possibly say no.
In all my dreams I had been in love with one person and one person only. Her name was Petra Ral. She was sweet, charming, and my light on a rainy day. She was devoted to me both in battle and out. When I had asked her to marry me it was the happiest day of my life. Then that day happened. Every time I saw him I saw her pressed against a tree. I wanted to blame him, but I should have acted on it myself. If I had ordered him to turn into a titan and all six of us attack the female titan all at once would they have survived? Now, when the titans had been extinct for so long some doubt they even existed, I still carried that burden. I still carried all her love and devotion even though she had died tragically in both cases. I have never been a selfish man. I’ve never questioned my selflessness. Though, now in this world I’ve done something selfish. I’ve hurt two peoples with one stone and fled. Because I couldn’t handle it. I… was sort of scared of Eren. Eren was my second light. When I was crying over Petra in my room he had come and calmed me down. He had been there for me when everyone else turned their backs against me. At nights I wondered if that Eren back then was the same Eren right now. I stared up into green blue eyes seeing all the passion and hatred in the world. What I had done to him was unforgivable. “Because,” I dropped down to my knees carefully. The floor was disgusting. I wanted to get up as soon as possible. I took a breath as I continued to stare into his eyes hoping he would see the truth in mine. He had to believe me when I told him this. I couldn’t bear to see both of them gone. I had already lost everything once. I don’t want to lose everything again. Especially over an immature decision. “I love you, Eren Yeager.” He had every right to reject me now. He had every right to stand and leave me here. I leaned down and kissed his palms softly. They were dirty. I could taste the dirt on them. They were soft though. I closed my eyes to try and get rid of all my thoughts. He wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t reject me. That wasn’t the Eren I knew. The Eren I knew was all smiles. I opened my eyes again and looked back up at him. “Give us a chance.”
We stayed like that for a long time just staring at each other. The atmosphere around us wasn’t unpleasant. It was comforting. I could see the battle in his eyes. See how he was both doubting and trusting me. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. I take my hands off his palm and look at them. There was pencil lead smeared on them. I thought I tasted something disgusting. When I looked up again he was nodding his head softly.
“One more chance. I won’t ever forgive you if you hurt me again, Levi.” He sounded scared and heartbroken. He was serious. This was my last chance. I held his hands with my own, nodding.
“I’ll take that chance.” Even if Eren wasn’t my first love he is just as good. I stood up and sat down next to him and held him close petting his hair softly.
Eren leaned into me and smiled while wrapping his arms around me. “Levi… was Erwin your first love?” He asked it so softly I wondered if he was actually asking me or himself.
“No. There was this wonderful woman I knew in college. We were both becoming teachers and would stay up late to do the homework together. Her name was Petra Ral. She was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, both inside and out. Our relationship was so very close. I gave up Erwin for her. I gave up everything that had to do with him to be with her. I had asked her to marry me… it was our honeymoon when…” I stopped and looked away from him. This was a touchy subject I loved and hated talking about. “She died saving me.”
Eren gasped and jumped up as if I was telling some exciting story. “How?!”
“… I don’t like talking about it…”
Eren pouted a little and nodded. “Okay… I guess it would be hard to talk about since she was someone so special to you.” He looked back at me and what I thought would be accusation in his eyes was actually sadness and pity. I hated pity.
“I’m fine. It happened a while ago… This is the only time I’m telling you this so listen up. We went camping for our honeymoon. She picked the place. I would have rather just stayed at home or maybe gone to a hotel somewhere, but she loved nature. We were so happy. We were always together. She said she gave all her love to me. I had given her everything I could have. When all of us was fighting titans… she had died then too. She had died to protect you by my orders. The Female Titan had smashed her against a tree. I had seen her. I had asked her to marry me then too. We didn’t get the chance… There was this solider who lost someone dear to him. I gave him Petra’s patch and said it was his friends. I had lost everything then. I didn’t want to lose everything now. We had dreamt a new life, somewhere where we could be at peace. Eren, life isn’t fair. People aren’t fair. I should have never agreed to go camping as a honeymoon. We had gotten there and it was wonderful. We swam, climbed, hiked, did everything you could possibly imagine… then things changed the last day… I had fallen in mud and was in a river to wash it off. She had heart problems… so… when I got swept under… and she saved me… She had given up her life for my own. By the time I came to, I was in a hospital frantically asking where she was. No one was giving me any answers and they just kept ignoring me. People don’t like giving bad news… by the third day I accepted the fact that not everything had gone according to plan. Petra’s father walked in and sat down. He grabbed my hand and that’s when I knew. I fucking knew they hadn’t saved her. He said, ‘She was so devoted to you… I guess that’s her downfall. I told her not to marry you at first but… thank you for loving her as much as you did. She was really happy. Levi… the dead don’t come back and the living must keep living. That’s what she would have wanted.’ I had cried right then. I had bawled all night. By the time I was discharged I was so numb. I didn’t want to live. The first time I saw you… I knew right then that there was my light…that’s why I decided to chase after you. You are my light now, Eren. That’s why I’m not going to give up on you.”
Tears were falling down his cheeks as he shook his head. “No… No…I can’t replace her!”
“No, you can’t… she will always hold part of my heart… but there is still another part that wants to be held by someone. I smashed yours before I could even really have it… so I’m giving you mine to do what you want with.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead. This was true. This was completely true. This was my wish. If Eren broke my heart right now I wouldn’t even mind it because he’s worth it. I was an idiot for leaving.
The tears fell down more on Eren’s cheeks as he turned and wrapped his arms around my neck. “Levi… please don’t forget about her just because you want to be with me…”
“I could never.”
Eren nodded and took one hand away from my shoulder and wiped one of his eyes. He chuckled as he looked away from me. “I’m sorry I’m a mess… this was your story and you didn’t even cry. I don’t have the right to.”
“It’s fine. This is the reaction everyone has when I tell it. I also know you’ll never want to hear it again. Hanji and Erwin were the same way. And… I have no more tears to shed.” I did though. I just wouldn’t cry in front of him. Crying was only allowed in my piano room with Hanji.
Eren leaned against me and nodded. “Can we talk about something else now?”
“Yeah… Let’s play twenty questions.” I smiled and held me tightly as I leaned against the headboard. “Favorite color?”
“Green. Yours?”
“Black. Favorite food?”
“Bread and sweets. Yours?”
“You’re a little shit. Stop copying me.” I rolled my eyes as I leaned against him. “Hmm… I like apples. Favorite movie?”
“Wolf Children. Hobby?”
“Reading.” I said though it was half a lie. I enjoyed Saturday nights where I cuddled with Hanji and read my book while she watched her stupid programs, not that I would admit that out loud. “Worst moment of your life.” I watched as his smile fell and he looked away. I shouldn’t have asked. I knew that, but I figured I should know since I told him his. That’s fair. Or was I just being selfish?
“Don’t answer if you don’t want to. I change my question. What’s your favorite animal?”
“Bird.” Eren smiled as he looked down. “I always saw you as a caged bird back then…”
My heart skipped a beat as my tears fell. He had died to free me. He really did love me.
A Change -Ereri/Riren- -Chapter 18-
So we got to know a little bit more about them and they've become closer. Sorry I couldn't put this up yesterday like I had planned. I was at my friend's house and didn't get home until late. So you're getting it now. See you next friday~
I don't own aot
Chapter 17
It’s been a week since I’ve been discharged and was now back at work with horseface. He and Marco were shoving their tongues down each other’s throats in the bathroom at the moment. Or going farther. I don’t know. I was too busy dealing with a drawing right now. I sighed as I spaced out and let the lines work themselves. When I snapped out of it I wanted to rip the page up into shreds. Eyes I knew far too well stared up at me. I haven’t talked to him since that day in the hospital I don’t plan on it ever again. I get up off my stool since there was no one here and walked to the male’s bathroom. I silently pray that they aren’t fucking and open the door. “Hey, It’s three. I’m leaving.”
“F-Fuck…” Jean hissed before walking out of a stall looking like a windstorm had blown through there. I tried not to picture what they were doing. I walk away from the bathroom and walk outside to wait for Mikasa and Armin. Luckily I didn’t have to wait long.
I got in the back and curled up while also putting on my seatbelt because coffee addict Armin wasn’t going to allow me to get home if I wasn’t properly following all the safety protocols. He has yet to tell me more about his and Erwin’s relationship. Mikasa doesn’t know anything about them. I haven’t told her and neither has Armin. I guess we’re both horrible people.
“Hey, Eren, my friend is having a party at the college I’m attending to. Want to come? It’s for his friend’s birthday.” Armin looks back at me hopefully and I knew in his eyes that he was talking about Erwin. Which meant there was a possibility that he would be there too. I didn’t really want to be near him until I figured out all my thoughts but it wouldn’t look right to Mikasa if I turned him down. He probably did this on purpose.
“Oh… ummm… sure… When is it?”
Shit. I didn’t have time to come up with some other plans to ditch Armin. “Okay…”
We got to the apartment and went up the elevator. I walked in and went straight to my room. I wanted to sleep so I didn’t have to worry about him. Too bad my dreams were filled with him.
I kissed him as we laughed in the kiss. I was even getting some chuckles out of him. He was so cute like that. I was always happy to get him to be more relaxed.
“You’re so bubbly. Is it because I have a surprise for you?” He had asked as he leaned away and pressed a hand to my cheek. He was sitting at the edge of his bed while I was draped across his lap my hand reaching out and wrapping around the back of his neck.
“Yes, corporal. I’d very much like my surprise now.” I whispered sounding a little too submissive in my opinion.
“Get off of me and I’ll get it.”
I sit up and sit cross legged as I watched him get up and smooth out my shirt over his body. It reached his mid-thigh and I was very proud of that. He walked to his desk that was across the room and come back with a box.
“Eren,” He got down on one knee and, fuck, my heart started beating quickly.
What was in the box?
Was he about to do what I thought he was about to do?
“Y-Yes, corporal?”
“We’ve been dating for a long time now and now I want to offer you the closest thing to my heart that I have to offer.” He opened the box and inside was leather and attached to that leather was the wings of freedom. My heart shattered. It was hers. It was Petra’s.
“N-No, I can’t accept this…”
“I love you, Eren. I want you to have my heart.”
He had given her his heart. They were supposed to get married after the expedition but I had killed her. My hand shook as I push it to him. “… N-No… I can’t…”
“Eren, what happened to them was just as much my fault as yours. We couldn’t have possibly known the outcome…Please… accept me.”
I stared down at him and nodded. I held the patch to my chest and smiled. “I won’t let you down, corporal.” I slid down so I was level with him and I kissed him softly. “Put it on me?”
Levi took it back and kissed me as he tied it in the back. “I love you. I belong to you, Eren. Now and forever.” Forever wasn’t long.

I woke up to Armin shaking me. “It’s time to go. I want to be on time.” Funny, because I wanted to be late as possible. I got up and changed quickly into a lose shirt and pants before looking at Armin.
“Is he going to be there?”
I was going to punch him one day. “My delightful ex.”
“Mike is his friend too… Please, Eren. I won’t know anyone there but Erwin and I don’t want to be left alone…”
I should say fuck off. I should say no and go back to bed, but somehow that wasn’t comforting either. I may as well go and tell him off so I never have to speak to him again. I felt the leather against my neck though and my hand went up to touch it. Nothing except smooth skin. I sighed and nodded. “Let’s go then.” I didn’t want to.
Armin hugged me and then grabbed my hand and walked me to the front door.
“Don’t let Eren drink too much, Armin.” Mikasa called from the couch.
I was going to punch her too.
“I won’t, Mikasa. We’ll both be staying sober.” Armin coaxed before he grabbed the keys and lead me down the elevator and to the parking lot. I sighed as I got in Armin’s car. This was going to suck. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Levi especially after that dream. Like hell I was going to forgive him for what he did to me. Six months I was broken hearted and unable to move on as he was god knows where doing god knows what with god knows who. He would be lucky I didn’t punch him as soon as I see him.
“Did you invite me because Levi knew you knew me and asked you to?”
“No. Levi has no idea you’re attending. Besides, this isn’t about him tonight. I want you to get to know Erwin. I want… you to possibly… accept him as my boyfriend?”
I choked on air. My best friend wanted to be with that fucking bastard who ripped Levi from me all because he collar meant the tiniest bit more than mine did. “Fuck him, Armin. I can’t forgive him after what he did.” He didn’t do shit though. Levi did. I just didn’t want to make Levi the bad guy in this. Why the hell was I defending him in the first place?
“Eren, you know Erwin wasn’t the one responsible. He was just as broken as you were, if not more.” Armin defended his lover and I wanted to cry because Armin always was on my side. Was I being replaced again by Erwin? I wanted to punch his face in.
“I don’t care who’s to blame. He was still involved and if it wasn’t for him Levi would have been mine.” I got out stubbornly because I couldn’t see it any other way. I didn’t want Levi to seem like the bad guy because in my dreams he was always good, caring, and kind hearted with a rough exterior. I loved him then and, now, I was afraid I still did.
“…Eren… Levi was Erwin’s first… It wasn’t his fault…” Armin whispered as he looked down before starting the car. “Seatbelt.” He watched me put it on before he did his own and pulled out of the drive way. I was getting nervous now that we were moving.
“Look, I get it. You don’t understand how much I don’t want to get it. I hate what he did. I hate how he’s different and I don’t understand why. How the fuck did the war make him better? I don’t get it… I… I don’t want to talk to him. Ever.” That pained me.
Armin sighed and the rest of the way was quiet.
Erwin’s place was huge. I could tell it was Erwin’s because Armin walked in without even knocking. They must have really gotten close if Armin was this comfortable with him. He took off his shoes in the entry way and I did too. We were the last ones to the party. Armin walked to a wall that had a bunch of hooks. Each either contained keys or other random objects that could hang. On two were collars. Armin grabbed the one that was obviously his. It was gray with a name tag with a hook. I tried not to think about what they’ve done or how Armin’s eyes lit up when he slid on the leather. I reach up only to put my hand back down.
“That one is yours if you choose to wear. Erwin wants it out of his house.” Armin gestured to the other one and I shook my head. It was too painful. I couldn’t slid it on if he wasn’t the one putting it on me. I grab it and stuff it in my pocket before following Armin to where Erwin was sitting. I sat down on the couch awkwardly feeling like I really didn’t belong. Especially when Armin choose to sit down on the ground.
“There’s plenty of room.” I said to him as I patted the seat next to me.
Instead of getting up, Armin looked over at Erwin and the blonde nodded giving him a piece of candy. Armin smiled and took it with his mouth before getting up and sitting down next to me smiling happily at me. That’s when I realized my friend wasn’t as innocent as I thought he was. He was growing up and I was being left behind. I looked down trying not to bring down the mood in the party but feeling out of place. Everyone here was either comfortable around Erwin or they had their own masters to please while being here. I was alone. Before I could stop myself, my eyes were already scanning the room. I saw him outside leaning against the deck drinking some wine from a glass. He didn’t look like he had come willingly.
“So, Eren, I hope you’re okay with this arrangement.”
“Hmmm?” I asked looking back at him as I tilted my head.
“Armin and I.”
“Oh, well… I mean, I guess. You know how it is. You hurt him and I’ll hurt you. That sort of thing. I won’t forgive you if you hurt him and I won’t let you be with him again.”
“Erwin, you don’t have to ag-” Armin piped up next to me but Erwin held up his hand to silence him. It sort of irked me how Armin listened to him.
“It’s fine. I expected it after what happened. He should be a little bit suspicious.”
“I am… especially since you’ve already given him a collar…”
“I wanted to give it to him. Eren… you don’t understand. I was a mess before he came along a-”
“Save it. Fucking save it.” I hissed as I got up. “You ruined him.” Everyone in the room stopped talking and stared at me. Everyone knew who I was talking about.
“Hey, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Erwin said glaring at me.
“I asked you to do one thing, Eren. One thing I’ve asked you to do and you couldn’t even try! You suck.” Armin pushed me and ran upstairs.
I turned around and ran from the situation. I had for outside to breath only to hold my breath. He was there looking at me with a shocked expression. “Shut the fuck up.” I hissed as I wiped at my eyes. I grabbed his drink from him and downed it.
“Oi.” He tried to grab it back, but a waiter came up beside us.
“Here’s our menu on drinks. What would you like?”
I paused and looked at the menu. It was all foreign. I didn’t recognize any of these words. “Umm… Ummmm…” I was too frustrated to deal with my illiteracy right now. “Nothing.”
Levi stared at me and I could tell he knew I was struggling. He looked at the menu and pointed to one of the words I didn’t know and the waiter got the bottle from his cart and poured it in my glass. “… You can’t read.”
“So, what?” I hissed.
“…No wonder you haven’t replied to my texts.”
That wasn’t the only reason. “How the hell did you get my number?”
“A little mushroom told me it.”
Armin. Of course. He probably set this whole thing up. I rolled my eyes and started to down my second glass when Levi stopped me. “It’s better if you savor the taste.” I took small sips as I rested against the banister. We sat there like that for a while before I got out my phone. “What did they say?” Where was my hatred? Wasn’t I saying in the car how I would never talk to him again? He seemed so natural to be around, I was so comfortable with him. That’s probably why it was so easy for me to start talking again.
Levi took my phone and started reading his own texts. There was only two. One when I got discharged and one from a couple days ago. “The first text said, hey, this is Levi. I know you probably don’t give two shits about me, but I’m worried about you. If you would please notify me of your health that would gladly be appreciated. If not I’ll just be suffering. I want to apologize again for what happened six months ago. I treated a lot of people like shit at the time and I left because I didn’t feel like I could make it any better. I felt like I had just lost my perfect future. And no, kid, that perfect future wasn’t with Erwin. It was with you. I thought I lost you and I couldn’t handle seeing you fall in love with someone else. So, I left to get my shit together. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you all this in person… I was going to that night you got in the accident, but I guess the world fucking hates me for what I did to you and doesn’t want me anywhere near you. Anyways, you know where to find me. Anywhere between three and ten is fine. Any time is fine. I don’t care. Just…” He trailed off and looked away for a second before turning back to the text. “Just talk to me. Give me something I can go on besides our dreams, because those don’t tell me shit. I want to know how you are and if I even have a chance with you. Damn, I’ve rambled on for too long. I’m going to end this desperate ass message. Text me soon.” He glanced at me and I pressed him to read the second one. “The second one said, this won’t be as long as the last one. I haven’t heard from you. How are you? Give me a call, please.”
I wanted to cry. All this time I’ve been hating him for being heartless and here he was worried about me. I couldn’t do anything about it because I couldn’t read. He gave me back my phone and we stood there awkwardly again. “Umm… could you… maybe… teach me to read?”
He looked over at me in shock before he nodded. “Yeah, kid, anything for you.”
A Change -Ereri/Riren- -Chapter 17-
Okay. I'm going to try to get on a schedule for when you can expect updates. It's been random as of late so I'm going to try to just update every Friday. So yeah that will happen next friday so expect an update then. Enjoy
I don't own characters or AoT
Day 1-
I slammed my foot in his face. "Stop. Be Eren again." I growled trying not to let my emotions through. Trying not to cry. Damnit, I am the Lance Corporal. I will not be getting hung up over a psychopath.

Eren growled up at me and lunged at me his shackles drawing him back before he could get to me. His eyes were glowing red and steam came off his body from where I had beat him. He wasn't Eren anymore. He was a titan in a human body. A body I've memorize. A body I fell asleep next to at night. A body that I've held and kissed. A boy that I fell in love with. I fall to my knees and let my tears fall silently. "Please... Bring me back my, Eren."

Erwin was behind me. He leaned down a placed a hand on my shoulder. "Levi... You know..."

"I know... I know..."

He was gone.

Day 2-
I walked into his cell and slammed my boot in his skull. "Wake the fuck up, Eren! Don't let this goddamn monster become you! Wake up!" I kicked him continuously until he was a bleeding mess on the floor. I stared at his rugged breathing as he looked up with me with tears in his eyes and lips drew back to reveal murderous teeth. "Wake up, damnit." I wasn't expecting what came next. It lit a fire in my heart though.


I kicked him again and again until I got that godawful expression off his face. When it finally did I fell to the ground in front of him and sighed. "Goddamnit, kid."

"Levi!" Eren smiled happily as he flew forward and held me tightly. "Oh, Levi... I'm sorry..."

"Shhh... It's okay... You're okay now..." I whispered feeling like the whole world was off my shoulders.

Until the next day came.

Day 3-
I walked down a little more relaxed than normal only to fall to my knees when I saw Eren. He was screaming loudly as he held his stomach. "E-Eren...? What's wrong...?"

He looked over at me and was about to smile only to vomit up blood. My whole world stopped at the sight. My lover was puking up blood on the cold cell floor and I could do nothing. I got up and walked in. I run next to him and started rubbing his back as I kissed his cheek. "Shhh... Shhhh..."

"Why..." He groaned and puked up more stomach acid and puke. "Why didn't you kill me when you could?! Why-" More came up. "Why didn't you kill me when I went out of control?" I could have. I could have killed him the day I found out he wasn't going to get any better. I could have saved him from all this, but I didn't. Because I couldn't let go. And now he was suffering a pain I probably will never ever come close to experiencing. Tears tore away from his eyes as he kept puking up so much blood. All I could do was watch.

Erwin came rushing in and then called for a doctor.

Eren was put under.

Day 4-
I sat there next to him. Holding his hand. He had stopped vomiting last night and was put on medications. Basically his body was shutting down and we had no idea how long he had left. I nuzzled his hand as I swallowed away tears. Erwin had reassured me that Eren could hear me, but for some reason I couldn't believe that. He was laying there so peaceful while I was sitting here so torn and broken. In pain. Pain was something Eren always made sure I wasn't feeling and yet here he was letting me feel every ounce of it. If he could hear me, he would have woken up by now. "I'm sorry I relied on your powers so much... I had so much faith that you could bring us out of these walls and I..." I over used him. I over used his titan abilities and now he was becoming one. Or he was dead. Either way would end in the same result. One would just have me the murderer. "Fuck."

Day 5-
He woke up. He was in pain and crying and begging. But he had woken up. "Please, Levi! I-I can't... Please! Kill me! Please!" He was sobbing on me as his blood started to seep out of his skin. He was loud. Screaming in agony. And I was here listening to it because Eren was my responsibility. He was mine and I was putting him through this. "Please..."

"Shhh... I'm sorry... I can't." This would be my one regret.

"Damnit! I hate you!" Eren cried more screaming as he shivered grabbing my sword and placing it at his neck trying to get the courage.



Stop him.

I lunge forward and take the sword away from him. I throw it across the room not caring that he was yelling at me and calling me every name in the book. I deserved it. I was putting him through this. He slowly stopped bleeding and passed out again. He didn't have much time. I could tell by his frail body. I didn't know what to do.

Day 6-
Day six of his recovery was the most peaceful. He had woken up and sipped some water before looking up at me. He placed a shaking hand on my cheek and brought me forward. "I love you." He whispered and kissed me softly.

I held him close and kissed him back only leaning away when my hands and lips destroyed his skin. He was fragile. His skin couldn't even take the lightest of touches. "...I love you too, Eren..."

He smiled up at me and rubbed my cheek. "Don't look so hurt. I'm okay." He really wasn't. He was in so much pain. He always was. His whole life was filled with it. "Levi, take this... and figure out what's in the basement." His breathing hitched and I realized this may be the last time I may ever speak to him again. No. No. No. No. No. Don't put me through this. "Please, don't let anyone else get it... p-please... it's all I have in this world..." He slipped off the black string and placed it in my hands. It was bloody from his hands and I couldn't do this. I really couldn't.

"Eren, don't you fucking dare put me through this. What happened to our plans? We were going to see the ocean with Armin and Mikasa and Erwin a-and... and everyone else... W-We were..." My tears threatened to fall but I stopped them. I wouldn't let his last time seeing me be filled with me having a break down.

"You can do that with Armin now... Please promise me you'll take care of it, Levi..." This was his final wish.

I nodded. "I promise." I hold his hand tighter and I watched his chest rise and then fall. His hand relaxed in mine. I slipped my hand and the key out of his hand and place the key around me. I lay my arms down next to him and bawled. I've never cried over anyone before and now I was crying over all of them. All at once. Erd. Gunther. Oluo. Petra. Mike. Eren. Everyone. They all died for the same cause. And now it was up to me to finish it. Or die trying.

Day 7-
Jean was next to me and we watched them throw Eren's body into the fire. The same pit Marco was put in. The same pit most honorable solider's bodies went to. Jean was crying on my shoulder and I really couldn't tell him no. He had loved him just as much. I was just the lucky one to get Eren as my lover. "...We... We have to get into that damn wall... We have to." I put my hand around the key. "We have to." Or die trying.

Day 8-
I was in my room and had to do one final thing before the expedition. Eren's report. I had to cross off the one thing I never thought I would. I had always thought it was Eren that would be crossing this certain word off mine.

Name: Eren Yeager
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Height: 170cm
Birthday: March 30th
Weight: 63kg
Affiliations: Mikasa Ackerman (adoptive sister), Carla Yeager (mother, deceased), Grisha Yeager (father, MIA)
Member of: Survey Corps
Training Squad: 104th
Grad Rank: 5th
Species: Titan Shifter
Status: Alive

I pause. Could I really cross it out and put another word in that last one? I close my eyes and do what I have to do.

Status: Alive Deceased

I cried for the second time in my life.

Day 36-
I looked up and saw the most beautiful angel ever. "E-Eren?"

"What was in the basement?"

I smiled and ran up to him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad... you're in my arms."

Eren smiled and lifted my chin and kissed me deeply. "I love you but you have to tell me. What was in that goddamn basement?"

"Brat." I chuckled and whispered in his ear exactly what was in it. He held me tightly and I vowed I'd never be separated from him again. 
  • Mood: Insecure
  • Listening to: Unravel (Tokyo Ghoul theme)
  • Watching: Black Butler
  • Playing: Dramatical Murder
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Pepsi


ZimXDib's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Name: ZimXDib aka ZXD
Birthday: 2/2/88

There's really not much to say. I roleplay. I write. I die at school. And well, I guess I'm a friendly person. :3

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smilyimp Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014
Thank you for the fav :blushes:
ZimXDib Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. :D
ParanoiaBaby Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014
Thank you again ;3; :heart:
ZimXDib Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. :)
ParanoiaBaby Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014
Thank you for the fav <3
ZimXDib Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Wolfqueen2319 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Look, i'm sorry. I guess we kinda started off wrong ^^
ZimXDib Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
....... What do you mean?
Wolfqueen2319 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
omg, wrong person 0.0
this never happened.
ZimXDib Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hahaha, It's okay. I was just confused cause I don't remember ever making enemies here. :) Better go find the right person.
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LacriChan Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave!!
    Danke fürs favorisieren :3

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You're welcome. :3
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Thanks so much for the watch!! Much appreciated c: 
ZimXDib Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome. :3
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Yay fave! Thank you so much!
ZimXDib Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Really no problem. :D
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Still always appreciate it! ^^
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Thanks for the fav! ^W^
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You is welcome. :D
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Thank you for the fav!:) (Smile) 

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Thanks for the fav! :)
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