Eren had fucked up. He fucked up big time. “Levi…”
“Don’t fucking call me that.” The dark haired man glared over at the other. “What the hell are you saying? Don’t you understand how wrong that is?”
Yes. He fucked up. “You… You weren’t supposed to find out this way…”
“And how the fuck was I supposed to find out? Don’t spill love confessions to your friends. Love is such a useless emotion. It’s a weakness. Not to mention how you’re a fucking child. You know nothing about me. You’re mixing up admiration for love. I’m not someone to love. Do you even know how fucking old I am?” He put his hand on his hip and glared up at the other male. I can’t let him get close to me. I can’t let my walls break. I won’t be weak.
“…You… I wanted to tell you when the time was right…” Eren stopped and flinched at the accusations. He knew this is what would happen. He didn’t think he’d have to hear it so soon though. “You’re thirty-five. You’re a neat freak. You once loved Petra. You want to get out of these walls just as much as I do. You’re not all bad. You try to not let anyone in because you’re always afraid to get attached.”
“Don’t disrespect the dead, brat. There was nothing going on between me and her. You don’t know me. Get the fuck back to work.” Levi walked back to the castle they were currently living in leaving Eren, Mikasa, and Armin to tend to the horses.
He was merely walking over to see if the brats were getting any work done when he heard Mikasa hesitantly ask: “Who do you love?” He stopped and stared at the three. He knew he was eavesdropping, but love was a weakness. A weakness that wasn’t belonged in his troops. Then Eren said his name. His blood instantly went still and he had to remember what he was there for. He had to clear things up though. He was older. He was the adult. He had to set Eren straight. He did what he had to do. What he failed to understand was Eren was a persistent little brat.
The next day when he woke up, Eren was in his room cleaning up. “How the hell did you get in here? Didn’t I lock the damn door?”
“The guards let me out of the dungeon to get to work earlier. And I had a key to your room.” Eren said holding up a bobby pen.
“You piece of shit, you better not have done anything to me in my sleep. I can kill you.” Levi growled getting up and started to get undressed. He was on his third button of his night shirt when he looked up. “Do you mind? Children aren’t allowed to see adults naked.”
“I’m not a child.” Eren hissed as he continued to dust Levi’s desk. “I demand some respect.”
Levi turned to him, one eye twitching in annoyance. “What did you fucking say?”
Eren smirked and mocked Levi’s voice. “Did I fucking stutter?”
Levi punched Eren as hard as he could sending him through the window. He grabbed a handkerchief and rubbed the blood off his hand. “Disgusting.” He looked at the collapsed Eren on the ground and rolled his eyes. He finished getting ready then walked to Hanji’s room. “Hey, Eren is passed out in front of my window. Go take care of the brat, four eyes.”
Hanji instantly opened the door. “Why’d you do that for, shorty?! My experiment might be ruined now!”
“…Reasons.” Levi whispered glancing at the ground before turning. “Just go take care of him.”
“Levi…you shouldn’t be so hard on Eren… you know he-”
“Shut up. That’s why he’s lying on the fucking ground passed out.”
“Can you really blame him for his feelings though? He is a teenager and he does have needs.”
“I’m not going to become his. I don’t love. I never will.”
“Levi… are you really going to break his heart just because Portia-”
“We don’t talk about her! Geez! Stop pestering me and get the damn kid off the floor. He’s dirtying up the sand!” Levi walked back to his room and slammed the door. He slid down the door and wanted to cry. There were no more tears left to shed though. He stared at the ground and punched it. “Fuck. Damn, brat. Why the fuck does he even matter?”
He got up and walked to his desk and started to sign paper after paper. He fixed some things and then got up and walked to Eren’s room. He knocked on the door before entering. He put it on his desk before shaking him awake. “You need an alarm clock.”
“Those are annoying.” The blonde sat up and rubbed at his face. “Besides, seeing your face when I wake up is always a pleasure.”
“Pleasure my ass.” Levi grumbled and walked out. He sighed and then stopped when a letter came.
“Present this to the captain, Corporal.”
Levi opened the letter only to drop it at the first word. “No…” Trail. “Eren…” Fucking brat. Why did he matter again? Because he somehow got into my heart? No! I don’t love him! I’ll be able to do this!
He walked back to Erwin’s room to see the man getting dressed. “They’re going to try and kill Eren again.” What if this time I won’t be able to convince them that he won’t turn without our permission or the good of the human race in mind? What if I fail him? What if he hates me? What if I’m becoming weak because of him? What if I’m afraid? He stopped his thoughts right there.
Levi went and picked up the order and then read it then reread it. “In three days.”
“Levi, do you love him?”
“Levi, this is important. Do you love him? If you do then it would make things easier.” Erwin sounded far too serious.
“You know what it feels like.”
“I’ll skip the question.”
“Fine. Go tell Armin. He’ll know what to do. If the trail goes wrong, I want you to do this one thing.”
Levi nodded and leaned in so Erwin could whisper in his ear
Eren jumped when he woke up. “Ow… that hurts…”
“Well, yeah, you got your assed kicked by shorty.” Hanji laughed then turned serious and sighed. “You really should just keep your mouth shut.”
“Hanji, I can’t do that anymore. Now that he knows… I feel like I have nothing to lose. Tell me why he can’t love me? Is it because he’s straight? Because he still loves Petra? What?” Eren asked almost desperate. A bandage was over his nose. Am I that hard to love? Do I really not deserve his love? I thought… we could be… perfect? Face the world. Take all the titans down. Be the perfect team. Be the perfect lovers. Get married. Have kids. Eren laughed and shook his head. What the hell am I thinking? Levi would never go for that. Especially the kid part. Man. That was a nice delusion though.
“It’s not his sexuality or Petra. It’s the simple fact of him being scared. He’s terrified to get close to anyone. Have you ever wondered why Levi has never cried on the field after a day of work? Everyone else is bawling while that man isn’t. He makes decisions that kill people every day. He has to always think what will cause less causalities. Now, if he were to have a lover… wouldn’t you think his job would become harder? It’s not that he can’t love. He just won’t. Because you could die one day… and that would destroy him. All responsibility falls on his shoulders. He’d never forgive himself.” Hanji explained and patted Eren’s shoulder. “You’re in love with a man that you can never have.”
“Stop assuming shit.” Levi growled as he walked in having only heard her last sentence.
Eren’s face instantly lit up as he smiled. “Hello, Corporal!”
“Eren,” His eyes looked up in a glare, “get your shit. You won’t be staying in the dungeon.”
“Where will I be staying?”
“Did I fucking stutter?” Levi hissed a flash going through his eyes that only Eren seemed to notice. “Not in the fucking dungeon.”
“Why the sudden change of heart?” Eren asked scared of the answer.
“You have one fucking chance. Mess it up and I won’t be so forgiving.” Levi mumbled as he looked at the ground. Three days… “Come on.” He looked at Hanji. “Four eyes, stop putting ideas in his fucking head. He better not fucking rape me in my sleep because of you.”
“Oh, Levi, he won’t do that. If anything you will, you do have more ex-” Levi shot her a warning glare that shut her up instantly.
“…It’s okay… I figured you wouldn’t be a virgin. You are thirty-five…” Eren whispered looking at the ground. That’s right… what if I get him to be my lover and he hates me because I mess up our first time…? I won’t know until he tells me…
“It wasn’t with Petra. He’s still alive. That’s why I didn’t want you to know. I don’t want you to go-”
“Who is he?! How dare he touch you! He should keep his hands to himself! Is it Jean?! Or Connie?! Or Erwin?! Who is it, Levi?! I will ki-” Eren immediately stopped when he saw Levi’s fist rise.
Levi lowered his arm and sighed. “It doesn’t fucking matter. Just come on. We need to get your shit.” He walked to the door and looked back at the brunette in a glare. “Don’t ever get into my sexual life again. That is none of your business. We are not together. We will never be together. You are a brat. Go fucking date Mikasa already.” Did my fear just come out just now? Did I just ask him… No. It doesn’t matter. We aren’t together. He can date who he wants.
“Mikasa is my sister. Not by blood, but still my sister. She’s not my type. She’s overprotective. Annoying. Overbearing. She won’t leave me alone. She’s embarrassing…” Eren defended looking at the ground as he followed Levi. “Sometimes… I wish I never saved her.”
“What you just fucking described was me. That’s how I am in a relationship.” Levi paused then looked at the ground as he mumbled. “Just go ask Erwin.” He closed his eyes as he opened the dungeon entrance and walked in. He went to Eren’s cell and started to pack his clothing and belongings. He picked up the key under the pillow and stared at it. He dusted it off on his shirt before carefully slipping it around Eren. “You are the protector of this. Don’t let it out of your sight.” He talked in a gentle tone as he thumbed the design on the key before going back to packing away his things neatly.
Eren’s eyes widened. Erwin…? Levi… and… Erwin…? The image instantly scared him. He was going to run up to Levi, but stopped when Levi gently put the key around his neck. He blushed as he looked up at the man. Was that sadness on those features? Regret…? “Levi…” He raised his hand, but the older male turned away. His heart broke. The moment was gone. He watched Levi put each valuable in a bag. He got back his courage as he walked over to Levi and from behind hugged him tightly. He felt the muscles under scarred skin stiffen. “Levi, you don’t have to have the whole world on just your shoulders. It’s on each one of ours if you’d just let it. You’re not the only reason people die every day.” The boy whispered.
“Get off me, brat. Go to my room and get settled in.”
“…Where are you going…?”
“…Levi, promise me you won’t go back to him until you give me a chance?”
Levi found himself looking at emerald eyes, unable to say no. He opened his mouth before looking away and walking past him. He couldn’t give in… not now.
Eren ran after him and grabbed the back of his shirt. “Please?”
“I don’t love.” With that cold remark, he opened the door and walked out. He could feel himself chipping away. He could feel himself gaining the emotions he usually suppressed. I walked to Erwin’s room and knocked on it softly.
“Levi, you don’t have to knock.”
The corporal walked in and sat down on Erwin’s bed before looking at the ground.
“This is about Eren…”
“Fuck off I don’t need you.”
“…Levi…you should know… you’re allowed to date who you want.”
“I didn’t come for your fucking permission!”
“Then why did you come?”
“…I don’t know…To get away from him.”
“I’ve never seen you like this before.” Erwin was currently sitting in his desk chair turned to see Levi a mess.
“…He’s going to die in three days…”
“Unless you do something.”
Levi sighed as he held his temples. “Why should I care? This isn’t love or anything.”
“Face it, Rivaille, you really do love him.”
“Don’t say that bullshit.”
Erwin had gotten up and pinned Levi against the bed. “If he was like me you would have let him fuck you then be done with it. You really do care for him.”
“Fuck you! I would never let him do that to me!” Levi hissed glaring up at his cool eyes. He stiffened under him and blushed. “…It’s not like you hate me for it…”
“Levi, you’re so cute when you let down you’re guard.” Erwin smirked as he leaned down and forced the shorter male in a kiss.
He instantly kicked him away and walked out of the room only to run straight into Eren. He rubbed his lips and looked to the side.
“… I’m going to die in three days?”
“Don’t fucking eavesdrop, brat.”
“Don’t I have a right to know that?”
“No.” Levi continued to rub his lips with the back of his hand as he got off the ground and glare up at Eren. “Don’t worry about it. Go back to my room. I want to sleep tonight.”
Eren grabbed Levi’s arm and pulled him back gently. He grabbed Levi’s chin before leaning down to brush his lips against the shorter man. “I love you.”
The black haired man leaned against Eren and put his forehead to the boy’s shoulder. “I have a fucking headache… shut up… please.” He muttered his head pounding with all the confusion he had experienced that day.
Eren smiled and grabbed his hand and kissed it softly. He put his other hand on the back of Levi’s head and brushed his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t press so hard.”
“Stop trying to act like a fucking adult.” Levi chuckled as he picked Eren up like a bride and carried him to his spotless room. He laid him on the floor before crawling in bed.
“I can’t sleep with you?”
“No. You might drool on me.”
“How do you know I drool?”
“…Go to bed.”
“You watch me in my sleep, don’t you?!”
“Go to bed!” Levi hissed turning away from him and nuzzling in the pillow. When thin arms wrapped around him though he decided to not argue and just let Eren hold him. He enjoyed the peace and quiet for once.
“I won’t drool… and if I do you can duct tape my mouth shut.” Eren mumbled nuzzling in the back of Levi’s neck.
Levi rolled over and wrapped his arms around Eren tightly. “Better not, brat.” He smiled and nuzzled into Eren’s soft hair and held onto him in protectiveness.
He won’t lose his Eren so easily.
He’d be damned if he did.