A Change -Ereri/Riren- -Chapter 17-

Chapter 17
It’s been a week since I’ve been discharged and was now back at work with horseface. He and Marco were shoving their tongues down each other’s throats in the bathroom at the moment. Or going farther. I don’t know. I was too busy dealing with a drawing right now. I sighed as I spaced out and let the lines work themselves. When I snapped out of it I wanted to rip the page up into shreds. Eyes I knew far too well stared up at me. I haven’t talked to him since that day in the hospital I don’t plan on it ever again. I get up off my stool since there was no one here and walked to the male’s bathroom. I silently pray that they aren’t fucking and open the door. “Hey, It’s three. I’m leaving.”
“F-Fuck…” Jean hissed before walking out of a stall looking like a windstorm had blown through there. I tried not to picture what they were doing. I walk away from the bathroom and walk outside to wait for Mikasa and Armin. Luckily I didn’t have to wait long.
I got in the back and curled up while also putting on my seatbelt because coffee addict Armin wasn’t going to allow me to get home if I wasn’t properly following all the safety protocols. He has yet to tell me more about his and Erwin’s relationship. Mikasa doesn’t know anything about them. I haven’t told her and neither has Armin. I guess we’re both horrible people.
“Hey, Eren, my friend is having a party at the college I’m attending to. Want to come? It’s for his friend’s birthday.” Armin looks back at me hopefully and I knew in his eyes that he was talking about Erwin. Which meant there was a possibility that he would be there too. I didn’t really want to be near him until I figured out all my thoughts but it wouldn’t look right to Mikasa if I turned him down. He probably did this on purpose.
“Oh… ummm… sure… When is it?”
“Tonight.”
Shit. I didn’t have time to come up with some other plans to ditch Armin. “Okay…”
~~~
We got to the apartment and went up the elevator. I walked in and went straight to my room. I wanted to sleep so I didn’t have to worry about him. Too bad my dreams were filled with him.
I kissed him as we laughed in the kiss. I was even getting some chuckles out of him. He was so cute like that. I was always happy to get him to be more relaxed.
“You’re so bubbly. Is it because I have a surprise for you?” He had asked as he leaned away and pressed a hand to my cheek. He was sitting at the edge of his bed while I was draped across his lap my hand reaching out and wrapping around the back of his neck.
“Yes, corporal. I’d very much like my surprise now.” I whispered sounding a little too submissive in my opinion.
“Get off of me and I’ll get it.”
I sit up and sit cross legged as I watched him get up and smooth out my shirt over his body. It reached his mid-thigh and I was very proud of that. He walked to his desk that was across the room and come back with a box.
“Eren,” He got down on one knee and, fuck, my heart started beating quickly.
What was in the box?
Was he about to do what I thought he was about to do?
“Y-Yes, corporal?”
“We’ve been dating for a long time now and now I want to offer you the closest thing to my heart that I have to offer.” He opened the box and inside was leather and attached to that leather was the wings of freedom. My heart shattered. It was hers. It was Petra’s.
“N-No, I can’t accept this…”
“I love you, Eren. I want you to have my heart.”
He had given her his heart. They were supposed to get married after the expedition but I had killed her. My hand shook as I push it to him. “… N-No… I can’t…”
“Eren, what happened to them was just as much my fault as yours. We couldn’t have possibly known the outcome…Please… accept me.”
I stared down at him and nodded. I held the patch to my chest and smiled. “I won’t let you down, corporal.” I slid down so I was level with him and I kissed him softly. “Put it on me?”
Levi took it back and kissed me as he tied it in the back. “I love you. I belong to you, Eren. Now and forever.” Forever wasn’t long.
I woke up to Armin shaking me. “It’s time to go. I want to be on time.” Funny, because I wanted to be late as possible. I got up and changed quickly into a lose shirt and pants before looking at Armin.
“Is he going to be there?”
“Who?”
I was going to punch him one day. “My delightful ex.”
“Mike is his friend too… Please, Eren. I won’t know anyone there but Erwin and I don’t want to be left alone…”
I should say fuck off. I should say no and go back to bed, but somehow that wasn’t comforting either. I may as well go and tell him off so I never have to speak to him again. I felt the leather against my neck though and my hand went up to touch it. Nothing except smooth skin. I sighed and nodded. “Let’s go then.” I didn’t want to.
Armin hugged me and then grabbed my hand and walked me to the front door.
“Don’t let Eren drink too much, Armin.” Mikasa called from the couch.
I was going to punch her too.
“I won’t, Mikasa. We’ll both be staying sober.” Armin coaxed before he grabbed the keys and lead me down the elevator and to the parking lot. I sighed as I got in Armin’s car. This was going to suck. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Levi especially after that dream. Like hell I was going to forgive him for what he did to me. Six months I was broken hearted and unable to move on as he was god knows where doing god knows what with god knows who. He would be lucky I didn’t punch him as soon as I see him.
“Did you invite me because Levi knew you knew me and asked you to?”
“No. Levi has no idea you’re attending. Besides, this isn’t about him tonight. I want you to get to know Erwin. I want… you to possibly… accept him as my boyfriend?”
I choked on air. My best friend wanted to be with that fucking bastard who ripped Levi from me all because he collar meant the tiniest bit more than mine did. “Fuck him, Armin. I can’t forgive him after what he did.” He didn’t do shit though. Levi did. I just didn’t want to make Levi the bad guy in this. Why the hell was I defending him in the first place?
“Eren, you know Erwin wasn’t the one responsible. He was just as broken as you were, if not more.” Armin defended his lover and I wanted to cry because Armin always was on my side. Was I being replaced again by Erwin? I wanted to punch his face in.
“I don’t care who’s to blame. He was still involved and if it wasn’t for him Levi would have been mine.” I got out stubbornly because I couldn’t see it any other way. I didn’t want Levi to seem like the bad guy because in my dreams he was always good, caring, and kind hearted with a rough exterior. I loved him then and, now, I was afraid I still did.
“…Eren… Levi was Erwin’s first… It wasn’t his fault…” Armin whispered as he looked down before starting the car. “Seatbelt.” He watched me put it on before he did his own and pulled out of the drive way. I was getting nervous now that we were moving.
“Look, I get it. You don’t understand how much I don’t want to get it. I hate what he did. I hate how he’s different and I don’t understand why. How the fuck did the war make him better? I don’t get it… I… I don’t want to talk to him. Ever.” That pained me.
Armin sighed and the rest of the way was quiet.
Erwin’s place was huge. I could tell it was Erwin’s because Armin walked in without even knocking. They must have really gotten close if Armin was this comfortable with him. He took off his shoes in the entry way and I did too. We were the last ones to the party. Armin walked to a wall that had a bunch of hooks. Each either contained keys or other random objects that could hang. On two were collars. Armin grabbed the one that was obviously his. It was gray with a name tag with a hook. I tried not to think about what they’ve done or how Armin’s eyes lit up when he slid on the leather. I reach up only to put my hand back down.
“That one is yours if you choose to wear. Erwin wants it out of his house.” Armin gestured to the other one and I shook my head. It was too painful. I couldn’t slid it on if he wasn’t the one putting it on me. I grab it and stuff it in my pocket before following Armin to where Erwin was sitting. I sat down on the couch awkwardly feeling like I really didn’t belong. Especially when Armin choose to sit down on the ground.
“There’s plenty of room.” I said to him as I patted the seat next to me.
Instead of getting up, Armin looked over at Erwin and the blonde nodded giving him a piece of candy. Armin smiled and took it with his mouth before getting up and sitting down next to me smiling happily at me. That’s when I realized my friend wasn’t as innocent as I thought he was. He was growing up and I was being left behind. I looked down trying not to bring down the mood in the party but feeling out of place. Everyone here was either comfortable around Erwin or they had their own masters to please while being here. I was alone. Before I could stop myself, my eyes were already scanning the room. I saw him outside leaning against the deck drinking some wine from a glass. He didn’t look like he had come willingly.
“So, Eren, I hope you’re okay with this arrangement.”
“Hmmm?” I asked looking back at him as I tilted my head.
“Armin and I.”
“Oh, well… I mean, I guess. You know how it is. You hurt him and I’ll hurt you. That sort of thing. I won’t forgive you if you hurt him and I won’t let you be with him again.”
“Understood.”
“Erwin, you don’t have to ag-” Armin piped up next to me but Erwin held up his hand to silence him. It sort of irked me how Armin listened to him.
“It’s fine. I expected it after what happened. He should be a little bit suspicious.”
“I am… especially since you’ve already given him a collar…”
“I wanted to give it to him. Eren… you don’t understand. I was a mess before he came along a-”
“Save it. Fucking save it.” I hissed as I got up. “You ruined him.” Everyone in the room stopped talking and stared at me. Everyone knew who I was talking about.
“Hey, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Erwin said glaring at me.
“I asked you to do one thing, Eren. One thing I’ve asked you to do and you couldn’t even try! You suck.” Armin pushed me and ran upstairs.
I turned around and ran from the situation. I had for outside to breath only to hold my breath. He was there looking at me with a shocked expression. “Shut the fuck up.” I hissed as I wiped at my eyes. I grabbed his drink from him and downed it.
“Oi.” He tried to grab it back, but a waiter came up beside us.
“Here’s our menu on drinks. What would you like?”
I paused and looked at the menu. It was all foreign. I didn’t recognize any of these words. “Umm… Ummmm…” I was too frustrated to deal with my illiteracy right now. “Nothing.”
Levi stared at me and I could tell he knew I was struggling. He looked at the menu and pointed to one of the words I didn’t know and the waiter got the bottle from his cart and poured it in my glass. “… You can’t read.”
“So, what?” I hissed.
“…No wonder you haven’t replied to my texts.”
That wasn’t the only reason. “How the hell did you get my number?”
“A little mushroom told me it.”
Armin. Of course. He probably set this whole thing up. I rolled my eyes and started to down my second glass when Levi stopped me. “It’s better if you savor the taste.” I took small sips as I rested against the banister. We sat there like that for a while before I got out my phone. “What did they say?” Where was my hatred? Wasn’t I saying in the car how I would never talk to him again? He seemed so natural to be around, I was so comfortable with him. That’s probably why it was so easy for me to start talking again.
Levi took my phone and started reading his own texts. There was only two. One when I got discharged and one from a couple days ago. “The first text said, hey, this is Levi. I know you probably don’t give two shits about me, but I’m worried about you. If you would please notify me of your health that would gladly be appreciated. If not I’ll just be suffering. I want to apologize again for what happened six months ago. I treated a lot of people like shit at the time and I left because I didn’t feel like I could make it any better. I felt like I had just lost my perfect future. And no, kid, that perfect future wasn’t with Erwin. It was with you. I thought I lost you and I couldn’t handle seeing you fall in love with someone else. So, I left to get my shit together. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you all this in person… I was going to that night you got in the accident, but I guess the world fucking hates me for what I did to you and doesn’t want me anywhere near you. Anyways, you know where to find me. Anywhere between three and ten is fine. Any time is fine. I don’t care. Just…” He trailed off and looked away for a second before turning back to the text. “Just talk to me. Give me something I can go on besides our dreams, because those don’t tell me shit. I want to know how you are and if I even have a chance with you. Damn, I’ve rambled on for too long. I’m going to end this desperate ass message. Text me soon.” He glanced at me and I pressed him to read the second one. “The second one said, this won’t be as long as the last one. I haven’t heard from you. How are you? Give me a call, please.”
I wanted to cry. All this time I’ve been hating him for being heartless and here he was worried about me. I couldn’t do anything about it because I couldn’t read. He gave me back my phone and we stood there awkwardly again. “Umm… could you… maybe… teach me to read?”
He looked over at me in shock before he nodded. “Yeah, kid, anything for you.”