A Change -Ereri/Riren- -Chapter 5-

Chapter 5
~Eren~
Armin once told me that when two people are destined to be together they are connected in many ways. Through dreams. Through thoughts. Through heart beats. Through happiness. Ours was through pain. We both had pain. And it all started when Levi got a piano. It was then that I realized… we shared pain. We were connected in ways no one else was. When he was sad and crying so was I. That Tuesday was the first time it had ever happened. I didn’t know at the time, but now that I do it sends misery all throughout my body. I wish he didn’t cry so often…
~~~
Tuesday went by quickly. I had few customers and my sketchbook was soon filled with an angular face that held a guarded expression and furrowed brows. A black undercut and a small thin smirk. I smiled as I stared at the page. I sighed as I held it close to my chest. I was acting like such a school girl with a crush. I didn’t get why though. I shouldn’t be trying to be with a man I didn’t know. We were strangers. Saying that though, made me feel like I was lying. That was probably because of the dreams. Those wonderful dreams that I had of the man. It felt real, it felt foreign, but familiar. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was like déjà vu. All of Levi’s touches in my dreams, all of what happened, it felt like I felt it before. Been there before. I sighed and then there was a knock at the door. I said I was going to bed early that night because, well, I couldn’t get the happiness off my face to be with Mikasa and Armin. As much as I wanted to tell them, I simply couldn’t. Levi was like this gem that I wanted to keep hidden. Even from my closest friends. It was bad enough that Jean knew. “Yeah?”
“Eren?” It was Armin. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. You can come in.” I said even though that was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want to worry my friends though so I could let them at least see him happy. “Need help with your math homework?”
Armin laughed as he walked in. “No.” He sat down next to me and eyed my sketchbook. “Why are you pressing it to your chest like that?”
“No reason!” I cursed myself. I had said that too loudly and too defensively to not sound like I was hiding something.
Armin snatched the sketchbook from me. “Who’s this? I feel like I’ve seen him before… Though maybe I’m wrong… who knows anymore…” He asked turning the sketchbook so I could see Levi sipping tea looking out the window. Is it sad I already know what he looks like by heart? I can close my eyes and see him perfectly painted on my eye lids. That was freaking… no I can’t be thinking about this. He’s god knows how old and… we’re strangers. So, why am I going to his house Friday? He’s probably some pervert that will rape me and never speak to me again. I gripped my shirt and looked down at the floor. That hurt to say…
“Yeah considering you don’t get enough sleep since you’re up all night reading and drinking all the coffee in the world.” I had to tease him. He was too cute not to tease. “His name is Levi.”
“Like Levi Ackerman?”
“…I don’t know. I didn’t get his last name. He invited me to his house though. It was weird.”
“Is he a teacher?”
“Yes…?” What was Armin getting at and how did he know?
“Dude, you’re drawing my teacher.”
And then I understood. I understood completely. That was completely wrong. My going to his house could cause him to get fired. Maybe I shouldn’t… too bad I was too fucking curious not to though at this point. I had spent all last night and today thinking about what his house would look like. My mind lingered on his room and I wanted to shoot it. Shit. I had a crush on a teacher. And it was Armin’s teacher. “What does he teach?”
“English. He’s strict too. He gave Mikasa a D once on a paper all because she had handwritten it. He’s super strict. There’s a lot of rumors going around that he has a dark past. He said he’s not staying for long and that we’ll all have, his words not mine, another shitty teacher that is constipated and angry at the world.”
I laughed and looked away. “That sounds like him. So, should I go to his house Friday?”
“I don’t think Mikasa will approve. She doesn’t like him…” Armin admitted rubbing the back of his neck. I could tell he was hesitant as well.
“We don’t like each other or anything. I don’t even know why he asked me. The only reason I’m curious in going is… well… if I tell you will you promise not to call me crazy?” I asked hesitantly. I knew Armin never would, but I still had to ask. Because it was crazy.
“Sure, Eren. You know I’ll support you through anything.” Armin smiled as he looked at the different drawings of his teacher. I could tell he was a little creeped out about my obsession.
“His touch is familiar. Not like… he brushed past me once or anything like that, but like all over my body. Like… he touched me and I wanted him. Every time our hands touch it’s like I can feel where his ran all over me and I can sense that mine has been all over him.” Here was when things got weird. I knew that all sounded weird. That I may have been sexually active with a man I’ve never even seen before until five days ago. The dreams were there though. Last nights was intense. I don’t know how I feel about it. He was romantic, charming and one hell of a sex god.
We had climbed up the walls in my pictures with this special equipment and when we got up there he had laid out this blanket and basket for us. We drank wine and ate bread and soup as we watched the stars. When our bellies were filled he had removed the glasses and basket to the side, stacked the plates gently and then put them to the side. He slid himself over to me and held my face gently. He looked into my eyes and smirked that annoying ass smirk. He whispered words I don’t remember before kissing me. Then, it went downhill from there, or uphill depending on what you were in the mood for. Our clothes were off and we were biting and scratching each other to the point where I didn’t know if we were fighting or saying what was ours. Then I woke up and was late to work because I had a serious problem down below.
“… That’s really weird, Eren. Maybe it’s an instant connection. Have you ever heard of the red string of fate?” Armin asked getting me out of my daze with his voice.
“No…? What is it?”
“It’s a legend that originated from China but Japan uses it too. In the Japanese culture it’s this red string that is tied between two individuals on their little fingers where as in the Chinese culture it’s tied around ankles. The two people that are tied together are destined lovers, regardless of time, place and circumstances. The thread can tangle and stretch, but it can never break. Maybe the legend is true and you two are tied together.” Armin explained smiling over at me. He knew so much and for once I was glad he did. That made me feel a little better about the situation. Though, I didn’t like how it sounded like the two people connected were forced to be together by a string. I didn’t believe in destiny. I choose my own path.
“It’s a nice thought.” It was for the people who were lonely. The people who believed there was someone out there for everyone. For the people who were optimistic like Armin. He probably believed that bullshit. Though… it did make Eren feel better. “I don’t know… though it seems too farfetched.”
“I know what you mean but… it’s better than nothing. Eren, when you go Friday… be careful okay?” Armin was looking at me with so much concern. This is why I didn’t want to tell them. They were always so concern but I don’t really mind that. I know they were just worried about me.
“I will be. I promise.” I smiled and watched Armin get up. “Promise me you won’t tell Mikasa.”
“But-”
“Please, Armin, she can know. She just can’t.” I pleaded because I knew she wouldn’t allow me to go. She ragged about her teacher every day. I was in too deep with him to not see him for her so she couldn’t know yet. I would tell her eventually just not now. Not when I had no idea where our relationship was going to go. Not that we had one. We were complete strangers. That’s what I had to keep reminding myself. We were strangers. I would never love him because there was nothing to love. We didn’t know each other and that probably wouldn’t change. Levi probably asked me on a whim. We would illegal and he would never go for someone like me. So, it was time to stomp this crush away and move on.
“Fine… but you owe me big time, Eren.”
“I know I do. Can you drive me there…?” I asked hesitantly. I was scared he would reject me further, but when he nodded I sighed and he walked out of my messy room. I grabbed my sketch book and tore at the pages I had drawn Levi on keeping only two. His eyes and his address. Three to ten. No earlier. No later. I’d go around four so I didn’t look like I was eager. That would leave with six hours of nothing but awkward silence. Why didn’t that stop me from going? I was confused with myself. I sighed and started lighting each page on fire. Because I couldn’t be with him. Because I had to remind myself that we’re strangers and I shouldn’t be eye fucking him. I shouldn’t be dreaming about fucking him with so much passion and love. I didn’t even realize when the tears were falling or why. I just felt this wave of emotional distress. It was suffocating me. Drowning me. I couldn’t help it. I don’t even know why I felt this way. I wanted it to go away though. He was a stranger. I scraped the ashes in a trashcan and then laid in my bed, crying over nothing.
He was ash.
That’s all he was.
Nothing.
And that’s all he ever would be.
So, why did that hurt me so much to think that?
The more I thought the more I was getting confused and conflicted. I cried myself to sleep that night. There was no dreams of him kissing me. There was no dream of us making love in the moon light. There was no love. There was just death. I drowned in blood. Armin’s blood. Jean’s blood. Mikasa’s blood. Connie’s. Sasha’s. Ymir’s. Krista’s. Hanji’s. I never found him. I tossed and turned all night without any rest to return. Only the tears stayed.

~Hanji~
So, we finally got to my little part! Yahoo! Okay, so, I’m excited to write about my little cuties, but, sadly, I must start this at Levi’s lowest because that’s when Eren finally connected with Levi in an emotional state. Past lives are very interesting. During my research I realized that Eren and Levi shared the same dreams each night. Though for whatever reason Levi’s were always vaguer than Eren’s. That’s not what this little part of the chapter is about though. It’s about what happened after. What I am about to write is the one scene I’m probably the only one brave enough to write. Levi is refusing to write this so he’s making me in charge of it because I was there. I was always there for him in our little apartment. This is Levi’s lowest.
~~~
The piano started with two keys being hit at a time. I sat in the corner watching quietly as Levi’s head bent down slowly to watch his work. His tears fell slowly as his two fingers hit the keys repeatedly. As much as I knew this was when Levi was in the most pain I couldn’t help, but love the way he played. He had so much emotion. His singing was wonderful. It was scratchy due to his crying, but still wonderful. On some Saturday nights he would run his hands through my hair and sing to me different lullabies when he thought I was asleep. He was a sweetie. Then there was a change of one key which was hit repeatedly then it went back to the other. It did this again before he added more notes.
“She lost her brother a month ago. His picture on the wall, and it reminds me. When she brings me coffee, her smile, I wish I could be with her, until my last day.” There was an explosion of different keys now and I knew he was feeling more emotions because he hit them hard. I could tell who he was thinking of. Petra was his girlfriend until she died of heart failure. I don’t think he ever fully moved on. I think that’s why he can never find the right home. I was pinning my hopes in Eren to keep him here. Not because I needed a place to crash, but because I actually got attached to Levi despite all the times he’s yelled at me not to. “She said she gave all her love to me.” He went back to hitting only certain keys. His small delicate fingers working the keys so beautifully. He was so broken on the inside though. “We dreamt a new life, some place to be at peace, but things changed, suddenly, I lost my dreams,” That last word crushed me. It was supposed to be high and the way he sang it was so broken. He was broken and it ripped my heart out each time he played this song for her. This was Petra’s song. “In this disaster.”
He was the disaster. How Petra died was because they went camping. Levi was so young and happy then. I had seen pictures so I knew. He had only told me the story once and that was the only time I would need and want to hear it.
The song picked up and I knew right then that this would be the worst time. The dream he had woken up to was everyone’s deaths. From what I’ve got so far in his past life these monsters, called Titans, were man-eating things that roamed the earth eating humans. Apparently, no one but him made it. He had killed the last titan. I hated this part of the song it’s when he yelled, cried in agony.
“I’m crying! Missing my lover. I don’t have the power on my side forever. Oh, where is my lover? And I got no power. I’m standing alone, no way! Calling out your name!” The music went calm again and I could relax once more.
They met in college. They both wanted to become teachers. They clicked instantly. They grew so attached. He gave her his heart, soul, and him. Everything you could imagine he did for her. She was a nice woman from what I’ve heard. Then they were on their honeymoon. Petra wanted to go camping, despite Levi complaints of it being dirty outside. They were to spend four days out in the middle of nowhere and it was best and last thing they did. Levi had fallen in mud and was washing up in the river near their campsite when-
The music continued to be calming. “I said gave all my love to you. We dreamt a new house. Some place to be at peace. But things changed, suddenly. I lost my dreams in this disaster.” The music turned again to being more than just a few notes and I wanted to pull him away from it now, but I knew I couldn’t. “We don’t know what is wrong tonight. Everybody’s got no place to hide. There’s no one left and there’s no one to go on. All I know is my life is gone.”
Levi had fallen in mud and was washing up in the river near their campsite when he got pulled under the current. Petra jumped in, despite having heart problems and overworked herself by dragging Levi out onto the forest floor. She saved his life at the cost of her own.
“I’m crying. Missing my lover. I don’t have the power on my side forever.” He slammed on the keys, but he was growing tired from exhaustion. Emotional distress does that. “Oh, where is my lover? And I got no power. I’m standing alone, no way! Calling out your name!” After a few more seconds the song slowed and then finally he stopped playing. He got up and walked back to his room.
This was Levi’s lowest. But also his beginning. Eren was coming Friday.