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One Thousand Dollars -ZaDr- Chapter 84

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Chapter 84
Dib gasped as he came in Zim this being their third time in a row now. He crawled next to him his body sore. He wrapped his arms and legs around Zim, who was panting even more. White and red substances covered them both most of it come from the human. “Wow…” Dib mustered and snuggled closer to Zim. He rubbed his arms and closed his eyes panting. I’m going to miss you. I can’t even feel your new marks I’m in so much pleasure. I’m so sore though. I’m going to feel this in the morning. So will you. I hope you’ll be ok… I’m sorry I’m going to have to do this soon. Irk is getting closer and closer and all I can do for you is...this… Dib held Zim closer resting his head on top of the others as Zim curled up beside his chest. “I’m sorry…”

“Why are you sorry, Dib-love?” Zim muttered exhausted as well. He knew Dib should leave. Leave and be safe, but his honey scent that matched his eye color just was too warming and comforting right now. He didn’t want Dib to leave and it didn’t look like Dib wanted to either. Zim snaked his arms around the human, who was much bigger than him, his antennas twitching against Dib’s face every time he’d exhale warm air. I know why you’re sorry. Its clearly obvious why you are. Why we did it so many times. Just don’t love me and you’ll be fine...I know you can’t do that though. Cause you’re Dib. Once the Dib has become obsessed with something the Dib shall never part from it. Or him in this case.

“Its gonna happen soon. Your death I mean. Why don’t you want me to stop it? Why did you want this to happen? And don’t say you don’t because I know you can easily get out and trick the system.” Dib growled though it wasn’t as mad as he would have liked. More heartbroken. His exhausted also played in the role of his weak little growl. He should be leaving. He should just get up and leave Zim to his own thoughts. Should tell him so much. Dib opened his mouth and realized he had nothing to say. I’m not a poet. I’m not a very good writer or good with words. I wish I was though. So, I could express my love to you through something other than wicked sex. You can do that to anyone. You can say those words to anyone. I’ve said them to a lot of family members...to my friend… but… my love for Zim always seemed to be in its own category. Its own list. Why can’t I come up with a word more powerful than love…? A word that is more powerful that Kimalo itself…?

“Dib...there is just some things that you just need to figure out on your own. You have the answers. I have left you them. You just have to find them. Their closer than what you think. Just promise me you won’t read them until I’m dead. Promise me you won’t find them until I’m dead. Stop thinking about it. I-I just want you to remember me how I am right now. Your amazing Zim. That’s it. Your views on me will change after you read them. So, that is why. Now drop the subject.” Zim sighed nuzzling into pale scarred skin. Trying desperately to get rid of the mark that didn’t belong.

Dib nodded and held the Irken tightly. “I promise. Zim...lets make our own word up. A word that we’ll only know what it mean. The bond, the hate, the love, the memories, everything into one word. A word that means us. Dib and Zim together forever. Something better than Kimalo. Something that no other Irken and human know…” I want something special between us. A new beginning. A new end. A new climax. A new everything. So, your death wasn’t in vain...so I can keep loving you…

Zim chuckled and rolled his eyes looking up at Dib. “You’re so corny. But ok.” He thought for a moment and licked at Dib’s neck lazily. “Hmmm...what about Malie?” Its sweet a simple. A little girly but… Dib was always very feminine. Yet so strong and brave and smart. Even at his weakest points. He never backed down. Even when he attempted he never decided that this was the end. This isn’t  the end. He knows this. I know this. This is a beginning to something more than just us…

Dib smiled and nodded holding Zim closer. “Malie… its pretty.” If you won’t cry for yourself then I will. I’ll do this for you and whatever your motives are I’ll trust you. Dib was about to go to sleep when a Irken interrupted his sleep.

“My Tallest! What are you doing in there?!” The guard opened the gate and grabbed Dib’s clothes with a spiderleg and wrapped another around Dib dragging him out. “Get dressed. Are you ok? You should have never come here! Never some here again! You hear me?! You're lucky the control brains didn’t find out!” The guard growled as he shoved Dib towards the exit. “Get out!”

Dib put on his clothes never taking his eyes off Zim. He slowly walked away looking at the ground his thoughts racing. What did he mean I’d look differently on him later after I read his plans?! Does he even love me?! Even want to be with me?! Or...no! I’ve officially said he wasn’t using me awhile ago! He admitted it himself! So, why does he want to die!? I’m so confused. When did my life become this complicated?! Dib didn’t realize till the guard pushed him.

“I’m sorry, my Tallest. This is for your own good though. You don’t want anything to do with the defect. You’ll see that later one. Just forget about him.” The guard ordered as he continued to escort him to his room. It seemed like a longer walk than normal. Seemed lonely.

Dib looked up at the guard finding him very familiar, but he didn’t question it. All Irkens look the same to him so it was nothing new. Maybe...Maybe the reason I did it so many times with him so I could fall out of love with him… to see how he used me. To give me a reason to not love him. It makes sense. I made our relationship to be only sex, so I’d have an excuse to not love him. So I would miss him less. Dib looked up to find he was at his room. He opened the door and sighed walking in and falling on the soft bed. I wish your arms around me. I wish I could stop loving you so I could protect myself from the depression that will follow after all this… but I can’t… cause I love you too much.
And watching you walk away,
and never knowing,
what could have been,
and not seeing that loving you,
is what I was tryin to do

~What Hurts The Most by: Rascal Flatts

I am so so so so sorry for the lateness! I just... haven't been feeling like writing this. This takes so much energy to write...its so dry... I honestly do not know why you people like this. Its always the same things over and over again. I just want 100 to get here. Oh so badly! *dies* I hate school...why didn't I update more in the summer?! *throws fit* Enjoy~
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ZXD
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PS. I don't own characters, show or song
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