Sunshine -Rivarmin- Chapter 10

Chapter 10

My face instantly went pale when I read the message. I excused myself from English, and went straight for the bathroom. When I got there, I instantly vomited in one of the toilets. No, it couldn’t be true. I couldn’t… I wouldn’t… I… I couldn’t kill someone just because I wanted my life to go back to normal. Oh, god… Oh, god… no… please, no. I hadn’t even responded to him. My thoughts were racing through my head a mile a minute. What was I supposed to do? I was head over heels in love with Levi… but if I killed him… or had someone else kill him… I could go back to normal and I wouldn’t rely on humans for air. I was hyperventilating. How could this possibly be true? I heard someone walk in, but I ignored them.

“You okay?”

I recognized the voice as Erwin’s, and two seconds later he was holding me close and rubbing my back, “What’s wrong? Levi told me to come check on you. Did something happen? What happened…?”

“Oh, god, Levi… I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can not. I can not,” I shook my head sobbing, “I don’t even know how… I can’t… Not to him… not to him…” I was panicked and I was trembling in his grip.

“Hush, hush, what’s wrong? Come on, calm down,” He began stroking my hair and letting me cry in his shoulder.

“I… He… told me…” I was interrupted by a coughing fit.

Erwin got out a water from his bag and gave it to me. It was unopened and completely full, “Have it.”

I took it and sipped from it before calming down. If there was one person that I could talk to and get a responsible answer it was Erwin, “… Levi told me how to change back.”

Erwin’s eyes widened as he looked down, “…What are your thoughts?”

“I don’t really have any…I mean… I don’t know… I’m just in shock.”

“What was the first thing you thought after reading the message?”

“That I couldn’t.”

“Then that’s your answer.”

“… but… I want to be human too… I don’t want to hurt others…”

“…Armin, do you realize Levi would give his life for you? Doesn’t that prove he loves you? Would you be happy with someone else that wasn’t Levi?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Just think things out before you make a decision. List out pros and cons.”

I nodded and got up, flushing the toilet and picking up my bag. I took a couple more sips from the water and then walked to third period. Luckily, it was sign language so I could easily write out all the pros and cons for killing Levi. Oh my god, that just sounds so horrible! I couldn’t possibly kill him… could I? Maybe if I put it on paper I could be more organized. I sat down at the back of the class and got out a loose leaf paper. Okay, here I go.

Pros- Human again, not have to rely on humans, could be friends with Eren again.

I tapped my lip with my pencil. Was that really all…? Okay, what about cons?

Cons- a murder would be my fault, I would never see Levi again, never hear his voice again.

And with just those three cons I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill him because that would be killing a part of myself. I loved Levi unconditionally. I got out my phone and texted him.

I can’t kill you. It’s morally wrong and… I don’t think I could live my life happily without you.

I put my phone to the side and looked down at the paper again. I was certain I couldn’t do it. He was my boyfriend and even if we just got over a bad break up and make up, I still loved him. If I killed him I knew my heart would completely break. I could give Levi my life. I’ve already given him everything else. His response came a few minutes later.

Have you really thought this out? Like I said, I’m not going to force you… but I want you to be absolutely sure.

My response was immediate. I knew I was sure. No, I was certain that this was the right choice. I couldn’t live with myself if I killed the one person I knew was going to give me the best life imaginable. He was the only one to make me feel alive. No one else could make me feel like I was the number one thing in their life. I was completely his and he was completely mine. If one of us is going to die then the other would soon follow because… I’m head over heels in love with him.

If you ever change your mind just let me know. I’d gladly give my life to you.

I wrote back to him and smiled, I’m not going to change my mind. I love you too much to kill you. Besides were going to be together forever anyways, so it’s fine as long as you take care of me. Promise me you will? Even if I do get a little annoying?

Class started so I had to put my phone away and began talking with my hands while we played a board game. I liked sign language. It was the one easy class I allowed myself to take. When class was over I walked to fourth period, econ. I read Levi’s text and smiled happily.

I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend, sunshine. Let me take you home after school today and then we can sit down and you can properly introduce me to your grandfather.

I couldn’t believe he was actually okay with that. I was thrilled that he was. He made me so happy. Family was so important to me and I was glad that Levi was willing to try for me. It could even be a two minute meeting and it would make my life so much better, Thank you! <3 <3 You’re the best!

The rest of the day was so much less complicated. I ran with Levi during gym, while Eren and Jean bickered behind us, precalc I helped Levi with the bookwork, and at lunch I sat at his table. I was always with Levi, just how I wanted it and by the way his arm was always around me I knew he wanted it to. Health we parted ways and I fed off of Erwin before class started. After health, I walked down the steps and waited in the grass for Levi to get out.

Fuck, I forgot I had detention for a week. Eren and I got in a fight during health. I’m so fucking sorry, sunshine. You can go home, I’ll go meet you there afterwards.

I was surprised by his answer. Eren hadn’t looked like he got in a fight.

Are you okay? Is he okay? What room are you in?

I waited in the grass for his reply. Why did they get in a fight? Was that why Eren didn’t come up and ask why I wasn’t sitting with him at lunch? Was he really that scared of Levi? I didn’t want him to be. I wanted them to be friends and get along. I sighed and nuzzled my hand.

We’re fine. I just slapped him. I’m in the office because I have detention with Petra.

Armin read the text and felt a little uncomfortable. Miss Ral was their principal and yet Levi said her name so casual… were they close? And if so, how close?

… You seem close to her…

When his text came, I feared the worst. I didn’t want to read it. What if he was… No. This is ridiculous. We’re talking about the person who would give up his life to me. I opened his message.

It’s not what you think, sunshine. She saved me from dying once and then coincidentally she became our principal. Don’t worry. I only love you and you alone.

I let out a breath and nodded. That made sense now. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I got up and walked inside the school. I went to her office and sat down outside the door. I wanted to be with Levi when I introduced him. I knew my grandpa would love him. I got out a book and read.

An hour later, Levi walked out and gasped in surprise, “You didn’t have to wait for me!”

“I wanted to,” I smiled and got up, putting my book back in my bag, “I wanted to be with you when you met my grandpa. Plus… you owe me a ride home.”

He chuckled and shook his head, “You’re never going to let that go, will you?”

“Nope!” I laughed and looped my arm in his leading him out front to where his motorcycle was. I was still hesitant about it, but he did owe me a ride home. I put on the helmet and got on after him, holding his waist, “Thank you, Levi. For everything.”

He smiled and shook his head, “Don’t mention it, sunshine.”

Levi started the motorcycle and started to drive to my house. The breeze actually didn’t feel so bad. I leaned against him and closed my eyes, taking in his scent. He smelled like tea, paper, ink, soap and Windex. It was a scent I came to love and want constantly. I didn’t even realize when we got to my house. I felt Levi get off the bike and crack his back, “Fuck, I’m nervous.”

I got off the bike and smiled, “He already has a good impression of you. You don’t have to worry, really.”

“Okay…” Levi muttered twiddling his thumbs together. It was kind of cute how my badass boyfriend was getting so nervous over meeting someone who was five times his age.

I took one of his hands and lead him in, noticing my grandfather wasn’t in the living room, “He must be sleeping.” I smiled and walked upstairs after taking off my shoes. I knocked on his bedroom before opening it, “Grandpa?”

“Ahhh, Armin. Come in come in,” I smiled and walked in, pulling Levi in close behind me, “I want you to meet someone, Grandpa. He’s… umm… well you’ve already met but I want to introduce him to you… he’s… this… this is my boyfriend, Levi.”

Levi looked at my grandfather before holding out his hand, “Nice to finally get introduced to you.”

My grandpa stared at his hand before meeting his eyes and smiling brightly, taking his hand in his own. I was instantly put at ease, “You were the young man from last night who made me dinner and cleaned up a little?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I like you. You better be nice to my grandson. I may be old but I won’t hesitate to hit you with my cane,” He laughed. My grandpa didn’t own a cane, which made me laugh when Levi’s eyes widened and he flinched a little.

“I’d rather not hurt him,” Levi chuckled a little and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you have a criminal record? Are you on drugs? Have you ever had any alcohol?” My grandpa suddenly asked him question which only made Levi fidget more where he stood.

“No. No. And I like wine, but I only have a glass every now and then.”

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen. I’ll be eighteen this December.”

“Where do you get the wine?”

Levi shrugged and I knew it was a sensitive topic when he didn’t answer for a while trying to come up with a lie, “Around.”

I smiled and tried to get the attention off him, “Levi’s very sweet, grandpa. You don’t have to worry,” At least I hoped he didn’t. I was careful to not lose control around the house, but I didn’t find grandpa appetizing in the slightest. I would have to ask Levi about it later. Maybe he knew why, though he'd probably just be guessing.

“Of course I have to worry you’re my grandson and your parents left me in charge of you. It’s my job to beat up your horrible boyfriends that hurt you.”

“I won’t be hurting him, sir. He is my everything,” Levi said curtly and held me close while trying to hold his ground. That was so cute, “And I won’t be letting anyone else hurt him either.”

“… You really are such a nice boy. I really like you. Now, tell me how long have you two been together?”

“… I’d say a couple weeks but I get loyal quickly.”

“Then don’t let my son hurt you.”

“I don’t think he possibly could,” Levi smiled before I took him downstairs to make dinner.

“That was perfect! He really likes you! I’m so happy!”

Levi smiled over at me as I danced in the kitchen a little before grabbing stuff to eat, “You’re so cute, Armin.”

I turned to him and shook my head, “You’re the cute one. Thank you for meeting my grandpa… oh and Levi? Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes?”

“Why don’t I find my grandpa appetizing?”

“Vampires naturally like younger, healthier blood. Old men taste like shit.”

“Are you saying that from experience?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

I laughed and shook my head making sure to prepare dinner for us properly.

After that things got a lot easier between us. I’d help him study and he’d teach me how to be a vampire. He’d take me out hunting even though I felt bad doing it. He was always very patient with me so if I couldn’t do it he’d take over. After a few months of begging and moping around, he finally allowed me to hang out with Eren on some nights. Levi and I would go to the library for dates or occasionally he’d take me out to a movie and dinner. If I couldn’t get to sleep at night, unlike him, then I would sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had just killed him, and then I would hear him stir next to me and look up at me with trusting eyes and I instantly felt more at ease. That’s just how it was. I couldn’t live without him because I was so head over heels in love with him. I couldn’t just stop being with him. I could never kill him because… I want to be with him forever. And… I knew he did too. Because a year after he had met my grandfather, a ring somehow made it onto my left ring finger.